How to keep calm through an argument

1.

How to Remain calm. Breathe in more slowly than you typically would. Maintain your tall and poised posture. Avoid aggressive body language, such as folding your arms or balling up your fists–even through yelling and tears a person detects the body language and will ramp up the arguing.

• Whenever someone says something that upsets you, just breathe in and out deeply and slowly. Give yourself the space you need to calm down by using your breathing as a slowing down mechanism that lets you see the situation more clearly.

2.

Never shout. If you shout, you will lose control and will find it harder to think clearly. You will also likely turn the argument into a shouting match rather than a constructive conflict.

• Speak with a calm voice.
• Apologize if you do shout. It happens, so say sorry and restore the calm voice.
• You could also thank the other person for putting up with the yelling and promise to (and actually) stop immediately.

Shouting in public will attract onlookers. Both embarrassing and potentially troublesome. It doesn't do your reputation much good either.

2.

Keep the attitude to a minimum. You might be right and they might be wrong but more probably, there is a middle ground neither of you have yet found and sticking to being right just blanks your ability to find compromise, see their perspective and be reasonable. Stay calm and relaxed, listen for the underlying message and bite back any nasty criticisms you feel tempted to fling forth.

3.

Wait for the other person to steam down. In the majority of cases, one cannot maintain a level of aggression long enough to keep an argument burning. This is what you might call the turning point. They begin to reassess the statements and claims they have made as they are lowered from the boiling point.

4.

Reach a conclusion if possible. Wrap it up with a statement of empathy, such as "I understand where your coming from, I've been there myself. I want to make this right, but for me to do that I need your support, not your anger.". Letting the opposing party think that they have won is ultimately the only way to resolve conflict with an irrational (I.E. Angry) individual. An argument is a failed negotiation, it is your responsibility to pick up the slack and reach the end game, assuming there is one.